The hours fly by and this aging body wants to fill them with writing, garden work, tai chi, delicious food preparation, attentive reading, full absorption in conversations. But mind-body disappoints all too often. Plain old fatigue, as annoying as a buzzing fly, derails activities or aching muscles cry for rest.
Confession time: I remember how my father used to fall asleep at a movie, how my mother would stare into space with no sense of what the rest of us were talking about. I laughed at them patronizingly. I’ll never be like that my younger self said with assurance. And here I am.
My age mates tell me to accept this shift in my personal dynamic. Pace yourself, they say. Be glad for what you can do and learn to let go of that previous life style with its buzzing activities. Relax into cat mode, abandon frisky puppy ambitions. Ask for help instead of pushing yourself too hard. Yeah, yeah–it’s all good advice. And maybe it’s okay if some things just don’t get done. Certainly it’s better to enjoy what one has rather than long for what’s beyond reach, beyond the mind-body’s capacity. T’his is a skillset I’m learning slowly.
